Restoring Christian Relationships

"If your brother sins, go and show him his fault when the two of you are alone. If he listens to you, you have regained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others with you, so that at the testimony of two or three witnesses every matter may be established. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. If he refuses to listen to the church, treat him like a Gentile or a tax collector." -- Matthew 18:15-17

These are good rules. Hey, there will always be conflict. The question is, how do you resolve it?

Here's what I was taught:

1. Go to the person yourself.
2. If that doesn't fix it, bring a friend and go to the person.
3. If that doesn't fix it, bring it to the church
4. If that doesn't fix it, run away.

What that means is that if you have a problem or issue with someone, you don't need to go tell the world--first approach that person directly and discretely. They may not even know that they have offended you and would want to seek reconciliation. If that does not work, then bring a friend who can help explain the situation and the grievances to the other person. Do this behind closed doors so that the world does not know.

If the first two steps do not work, it is our obligation as Christains to bring it to the church elders and seek advice. How severe is the incident? Have we gone overboard? An impartial judge can do wonders.

If that does not work, then and only then do you have the right to "cast them out" and go on with your life.